1 Capture
2 Audit
3 Share
01 // CAPTURE
Subject capture
Clear front-facing selfie. Neutral face. Good light. No beauty filters if you can handle it.
INTENSITY
Scan note:
Simulated satire · 100% in your browser · nothing uploaded · not science
✓ Capture
✓ Audit
3 Share
02 // VERDICT
Audit complete
— · Normal
03 // SHARE CARD
Weaponize it
This is the product. Download, share, or challenge a friend before reading the full readout.
1080x1920 story · watermarked faceaudit.jonbailey.xyz
Stochastic calipers. Not science. Pure satire.
FULL READOUT
expand findings + cope stack
04 // POTENTIAL
Cope stack
Tongue-in-cheek tips. Not medical advice.
FRIEND CHALLENGE
Someone sent you an audit
Beat their score. Same stochastic calipers. Pure satire.
Can you beat this?