FACE AUDIT v4.2
Upload a selfie. Get a savage score card. Pin keepers to The Calipers on this device.
Clear front-facing selfie. Neutral face. Good light. No beauty filters if you can handle it.
Drop your face here
or click to browse · JPG / PNG / WebP
Simulated satire · 100% in your browser · nothing uploaded · not science
A free satirical face-roast page. You capture or upload a selfie and get a shareable score card.
No. Capture, scoring, and card export stay in the browser. Nothing is uploaded.
No. Not medical advice, not a diagnosis, not a beauty standard. Satire only.
Yes. No account. No paywall.
A local pin list of roast cards. Pins stay in this browser. No photos are stored, only the score snapshot.
No. The score is a seeded random roast. If this browser can see a face box, crop size and position are shown as photo geometry. Edge density is pixel contrast on a small local sample. That is not bone, not medical, not a beauty score.